Attachment- Seeking- Reframing How We View Negative Behavior | Canton Karate
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Melissa Eszes Schlosser reviewed Canton Karate
5
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Our daughter LOVES everything about coming to classes! She started last May, and hasn't looked back. Her confidence has grown so much, starting within weeks of starting! She loves how every week she is learning new skills, she loves the staff and she loves the challenges that they give them every week to work on. She looks forward to classes every week, and jumped at the opportunity to sign up for extra classes that would help her learn more. She went from being a complete gymnastics girl to everything karate. Her Christmas list was filled with rebreakable boards, pads, punching bags, t-shirts, room decorations and anything else she could think of to practice karate or that was karate! It's only been about 10 months, but you can't meet this girl and not know that she loves karate, and we have Canton Karate to thank for this! Overall, the staff at Canton Karate has changed our daughter in so many ways, but especially in her confidence! We're so glad we found them!

Steve Surmann reviewed Canton Karate
5
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The kids enjoy it, they learn to be more disciplined and behaved at the same time! Master Martin is exceptionally patient (I know because I get frustrated just watching it) and is a wonderful instructor. I am very happy with the way he mentors his pupils especially while he has his assistant instructors available to give one on one instruction to those that struggle. Having my children in his classes and seeing what they actually learn, accomplish and develop into is well worth the cost.

Jen Pepper reviewed Canton Karate
5
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Love this school :) they are very thoughtful and encouraging, yet are able to mix the right amount of fun into every class as well

Joshua Mankowski reviewed Canton Karate
5
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The Perfect Martial Arts School. Master Martin does a great job of combining all of the elements of martial arts into the curriculum, There is a mixture of history, discipline and practical application. The classes are also taught specifically for each age group to maximize the benefit of the kids and adults. What is being taught will resonate with a 3 or 4 year old (my son) or an adult(myself).

Susan Cook McCoon reviewed Canton Karate
5
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My son goes here and loves it. Master Martin is great with the kids. They work on focus, concentration, self discipline, confidence and many more things kids need. My son is always excited to go and it's great to see the smile on his face. I see the improvement at home and in school since he has been going.

Diana M Riley-Woodward reviewed Canton Karate
5
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Canton Karate has been amazing for our family! My two have been enrolled for 6 months now. They have always struggled with attention, focus, and self control and it was beginning to impact school. They LOVE Karate! They want to practice at home, and love going to class. and their performance in school has made a complete turnaround! For the first time my daughter's teacher this year says she is focused, attentive, and hard working!
Master Martin is patient but firm and disciplined. He treats each student differently in class. and that's a good thing! I don't know how but he seems to know what every student needs to personally challenge them. I find myself repeating Master Martin's words around the house and at work. They did love the Saturday forms/sparring class and we will miss that. But we are all excited to see what comes next!

Michelle Turmell reviewed Canton Karate
5
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My son started Karate lessons at Canton Karate several months ago and we can't be happier with that decision! My son has gained so much confidence. On his first day, he was so nervous to step onto that mat. Master Martin and the rest of the staff were so patient and encouraging with him. He loves going now and has so much fun at each class. Master Martin and all the staff at Canton Karate are so encouraging, helpful and very accessible. I can't say enough good things! I highly recommend Canton Karate!

Michelle Brenner reviewed Canton Karate
5
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Amazing place with AMAZING staff!! The way they work with kids is wonderful! You truly feel like family from the time you walk in the door. They offer so many different class options. My kids have learned so much already from their short time here. I'm amazed at the new skills and discipline they are learning. The confidence I'm seeing fostered in my children is great. Master Martin has an amazing way of dealing with the kids. It is usually in a way that corrects the problem without disrupting everyone else. Can't wait till my 4 year old is ready to start as well. Thank you Canton Karate!!

Pat O'Hara Dunbar reviewed Canton Karate
5
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Canton Karate is a great place for kids to teach them how to respect others, self esteem, and how to treat bullies. I would recommend Canton Karate to all my friends. The staff is very pleasant and helpful. I'm glad that we are part of the Canton Karate family. My grandson has learned so much in just a short period of time of being here. He really looks forward on coming here and getting out of his shell. Thank you Canton Karate.

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Attachment- Seeking- Reframing How We View Negative Behavior

 

Attachment-Seeking

Reframing How We View Negative Behavior

 

 

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it has taught us to slow down and appreciate the moments we have with our loved ones. On the flip side, it has also caused some additional stressors for parents as they have had to play the role of teacher while also fulfilling their work demands. And as we knew before the pandemic, children will do just about anything to get attention. And since secondary attachments to teachers and coaches have become limited, children are looking to their parents to fill their attachment needs. As Rudolf Dreikus said, “Children need attention like a plant needs sun and water.” So, when did we conclude that wanting attention is a bad thing?

 

Parents are busy with a varying number of essential things, and “attention-seeking” behaviors seem to always come at the wrong time. The problem is that the need for attention is a need for attachment, which is a biological need for survival, according to the attachment theory. When children don’t get quality connection time with their parents, they are more likely to act out. Unfortunately, these behaviors trigger parents to punish their child, which gives them the attention they are seeking, whether ideal or not. And although parents don’t intentionally want to reinforce their child’s negative attention-seeking behaviors, their response does just that.

 

A better approach to this is to reframe how we see these types of behaviors. When parents understand the acting out actions are because their children are seeking a connection, parents are then more likely to change their approach. By scheduling in time each day to connect with their child, parents can lessen the negative attention-seeking behaviors. Additionally, catching children being good and praising them with positive attention will help keep their “attention tanks” full and reinforce positive behaviors. Too often, parents take good behavior for granted and come to expect it but highlighting children’s efforts is essential for these to continue.

 

The Parent SKILLZ curriculum was created to help inspire parents to rethink their approach to parenting. Within the program, parents learn and practice each skill to take their parenting to the next level. Each of the eight skills requires only 10 minutes a day to implement but has a long-lasting impact on the parent-child bond. The instructors in the SKILLZ classes also implement these skills to support critical secondary attachments. The simple yet effective strategies create relationships that give children a sense of security and help the development of their emotional self-regulation skills.

 

When we focus on positive things, we see more of those things. In parenting, the goal is to make positive reinforcement as natural as possible. When we understand that “attention-seeking” behaviors are simply a child’s way of wanting a relationship, we become more mindful of our responses. As Dr. Jody Carrington said, “Every time you think of calling a kid, ‘attention-seeking’ this year, consider changing it to ‘connection-seeking’ and see how your perspective changes.”

 

Author:  Jennifer Salama of Skillz Worldwide. Jennifer is a 4th-degree black belt and has been training in martial arts since 2001. She has a Masters Degree in Child Psychology and has embraced the SKILLZ curriculum because of its focus on child development and using martial arts as a vehicle to develop the child as a whole.